I've ridden this a couple of times and it's not easy. It's a very hilly course with the infamous Mow Cop hill. Yet again it defeated me but to be honest, I wasn't overly happy in tackling this year as I knew what other hills were to come and some of those can be just as challenging such as Gun Hill.
Anyway, why am I boring you with my cycling again? WELL, something happened. I had a meltdown. Let me explain. We got passed mow Cop and on the run in to the first feed station at 30 miles. The day was blisteringly hot. I think the temperatures got to mid 30's- in fact someone told me that Wimbledon Centre Court temp hit 50ºc at one point , so it was that sort of day! At the feed station, refill bottles, grab some sorreen etc and have a sit down in the shade and we waited for Dale who was behind us. During this time I must have downed a litre of water very quickly. I was so thirsty and the water was so cold. Lovely.... too much too quick I think.
So we set off and hit Gun Hill, got over that to have another hill hit us square between the eyes. I cracked. So I got off and walked this one. I don't mind doing this. I not overly competitive about my cycling. I do it because I enjoy it (yes, even these hills!) it's challenging and I need it for my sanity. However, on this occasion I suddenly began with flashbacks. This was back in ICU, ventilator in place and be gasping for water...can you see the triggers. Thirst, water (COLD water), overheating (relating to my temperature in hospital at the time- think it was running at about 42ºc) and exhausted (again caused mostly by the heat)
I freaked out. I couldn't focus. I walked, I drank. I tried to focus on the next feed station which was about 15 miles away. I just couldn't. I wanted to stop. I wanted the sights and the taste to go away. My throat felt like it was closing up. As if the ventilator was in there and all I craved was to whet my whistle with some ice cold water. This is how it was in ICU at that point. Burning up, weak a a kitten and wanting cold cold water.
I got back on the bike at the top of the hill to hit yet another hill but carried on- descent soon and bomb down to a nice cold drink and hopefully the guys will still be there. The downhill bits were great. With the wind whistling by cooling me down, I managed to get focus and enjoy it again but more uphill bits soon brought that to a stop and eventually I got to the feed station.
Over in the shade I sat down with Jon and Mark and I was a mess. I wanted to throw up. I wanted to stop. I felt defeated and all I could see again was the view from the ICU bed. Later on, Jon had said I was talking weirdly and was really not myself at all. I had told them what was happening- that what I actually needed was a cold Coke which would not only give me an energy boost but also take my mind off cold water in a vague hope of getting rid of the flashback. I also asked for them to lead in in for the last 20 miles. I texted Helen. I had agreed if any flashbacks happen, I'd tell her straight away and if needed she's talk me down. I was sort of ok and so said I'd ring once we'd finished. I pulled myself together and we set off. 20 min out, and I was suffering again. I was dropping behind and could keep no pace at all. Totally not like me- this section was on the flat and I can tap out a good and steady rhythm - in fact it's usually me on the front! What was going on with me! FFS!!!
We then came across a place called Aqueduct Marina. There as a tea rooms sign so Jon decided i need to stop again and get some Coke inside me. We had 8 miles to go. Another 10 min stop and we set off BUT this time I was improving and we trained it back in with Mark on the front. I remember saying to him at one point- if he wanted to pick up the tempo to just do it- there was no way I had anything left to go on the front but I could keep pace almost as if on autopilot. We made it back. According to Strava I had a 'moving' time of 5:22:50 with an elapsed time of 6:54:35 that's alot of recovery time!!
Having said that, Dale was still out on the course and was a further 10 mins behind us with elapsed time of 7:05:29 and a moving time of 5:56:42
Temperature played a massive part in to this days occurrences and triggered things that need to stay compartmentalised. I guess it shows how random flashback triggers can be for me. No way did I ever see that one coming but I guess more regular hydration was needed: I'd had a pee at 0930 and then nothing until I got home at 2030 ish. I n that time I'd drunk about 4 litres of water and 4 litres of Coke. On the course I ate hardly anything as it's always mush- porridge for breakfast then it's a case of gels, bars and bananas.... needed something salty so we eventually got chips on the way home. On route I also take Magnesium Phosphate (Mag Phos 8) tablets- down a load at each stop to help with cramping.
Finally, can I once again thank Mark and Jon for towing me in. They didn't have to but then that is what cycling is about. It's a team effort and they were fantastic. Thanks guys. And big congrats to Mark and Dale for getting up Mow Cop... great job!
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