"To save you a journey, we'll do the follow up consultation over the phone. We'll give you a call on the 8th in the afternoon. Okay?"
And boy did I have questions this afternoon!
For the last few days I had managed to convince myself it had gone wrong.
"Helen, what's this lump? Is it supposed to look like that? Should my scar feel hard like that? Etc etc"
So when they rang I blurted all my woes down the phone. 5 mins later I'm like 'hey, what's up, nothing wrong here!!!'... Well, sort of.... You get the idea.
The thing is when it's gone wrong in the past, all sorts of things go through your head and with nothing to reference what do us idiots do.... We Google it.
My ex mother-in-law ...and we are talking before the days of Internet... Had one of those medical dictionaries and was always looking stuff up... And she usually 'had' whatever it was.. You know, rabies and the like (!!!!!!) ....and Google is now the replacement dictionary for, well, everything I guess.
I had always vowed never to look up such medical things but now.... Ok, incisional hernia... I need information and I need it NOW!.... Christ, I wished I hadn't. There's never anything positive that comes on page one of the search. It's always the gore and the things-gone-wrong scenarios when all I want to know is should I have a lumpy bit a week after surgery.
Meanwhile, back to today on the phone...
"is it sausage shaped just under the scar."
"YES!" *within a nanosecond, I'm thinking...OMFG that's it, it's all gone wrong!!*
"Oh that's good. Perfectly normal and that will disperse over the weeks."
"phew" *collapses* "Ok,ok, I've got some more questions.... When can I swim, when can I get on my bike, when can I work, when can I have a bath, what can I do...IM SO BORED!"
"Well, you sound like you are coming along nicely. You can have a bath, nothing else, no exercise other that walking, no lifting, no work."
"Erm, I've got a turbo trainer with my bike on it. Can I not just have a..."
"NO... Not for another 4 weeks! You don't want to relapse do you?!... You can swim after the end of this month but take it easy. Now, I'm going to sign you off but that doesn't mean you can't ring whenever you want. Okay?!"
"Erm, yeah, brilliant. Thanks!"
Lincoln had never been that courteous when I came out. To be honest, I think they were just glad I actually was able to walk out and probably too large sigh of relief!
So, dear reader, what I guess this is all leading to is my large sigh of relief in so much as everything is going okay. I have had my proverbial wrist slapped by the Doc so I know my targets and I guess I just need to get out for a stroll every day.
My only other worry and to be fair, it isn't a worry any more, it's just nerves, is speaking at the Sepsis Conference next week. As much as I am nervous about standing in front of a room full of consultants and the like, I'm sort of looking forward to it. I've a feeling I'll learn something, just as much as they will.
Thought I'd just do a quick update to inform you all exactly how BORDED I am. This recovery is no fun at all. All I am allowed to do is sit, lie, sleep, eat, toilet (once it all starts working) and occasionally walk. I now have the privilege of driving. Woohoo. So where do we go on the first journey out...McDonalds...we know how to live. Christ, Maccy Dee followed by Office World!!
I'm not good at sitting still as I'm finding out. I guess that is the trouble when one is quite active BUT I know I need to chill for another 4 weeks. I might have pulled all my hair out by then...
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